Bored

This is my third day off from work, trying  to heal my darn back.

I "think" it's feeling a bit better, but, it's hard to judge. All these pills make me fuzzy-headed, sleepy, and hungry.  I won't be able to take the muscle relaxant at work, since I drop off to sleep without a lot of warning when I'm taking it.  Makes it tough to drive to and from work, never mind actually doing my job.

The hunger is ridiculous. I'd like to think my body is asking for more because it needs the fuel to heal. I hate that I am consuming so much...makes me afraid that I'll put on even more weight.

It's a  vicious circle.

I do realize that things could be much worse. Eventually I will heal.

I am itching to get back on the road to run, to start Lifting the Things. This sitting around is boring.

I am planning on trying to work tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Patience....too Bad it Doesn't Come in Pill Form

I could probably post this on my other blog as well.....but one post will suffice.

So, my back is still giving me grief.

I tried to go back to work yesterday. That did not go as I had hoped. I made it nearly 2.5 hours before I couldn't stand the pain anymore.

I broke down and went over to the Emergency room ( getting in to see a family doc here is near to impossible. Mine books months in advance I have found). The doctor there poked and prodded, checked things out, and had a wee chuckle when I asked if being a klutz was an actual medical condition ( he said no).

I ended up leaving with a note saying I couldn't work until Thursday, and a bunch of prescriptions to fill. Muscle relaxants, anti-inflammatory, steroid, and T3. ( I did not fill the T3. I don't like them, and they don't like me.)

I'm sleeping a lot, eating too much, and generally feel like a big old lump.

I hate that something so silly has knocked me out so badly.

Then the what-ifs creep in....

*What if I can't run our final race for the local series here in September?
*What if this injury affect my recovery for my upcoming surgery? ( I have no basis for this one)
*What if.....what if I can't get back to work?

My wise friend and my wonderful husband keep telling me just to be patient and let my body heal.

Let me tell you, on these meds, there is no choice for me but to rest.....I keep falling asleep!

Patience....meh.

Well folks, I'm still hurting. The sharp pains in my back are gone, but the muscles are just not behaving themselves. My shoulder is also not being  team player at this point, and has thrown-in with my back to make moving a little harder than it should be.

Tried to go Robax-free. Didn't take my bedtime dose last night, and did not take one when I got up this morning. Seems that was an error, and had to take on right before noon. They make me feel nauseated, but, luckily, a Greek yogurt and some buttered toast help with the worst of that.

I'm very nervous about going to work tomorrow. I'll try it though. (I don't want to use up all my sick time before my surgery in September.) I suppose I can only do what I can do.

I hate not being able to make my body do what I want it to. I do not like being limited. I surely do not enjoy the fact that I have to ask for help to get things done.

Patience is not my forte.

However.....

My Fabulous Running Buddy went and ran the 5k race we were signed up for today. She totally rocked it on this beautiful sunny Sunday. Very proud of her!

So, getting out the shower this morning.......

When do I throw in the towel?

I am frustrated to the point of tears once again.

The past 12 months have been sh!tastic for me health and body wise. Nothing terminal, just things that alter my ability to enjoy the big and little things in life and keep myself healthy and strong.

My feet, they ALWAYS hurt. Not just normal "I've been on my feet too long" hurt, but a hobbling, makes you consider if it's really necessary to get up and pee in the morning kind of hurt. ( Heel spurs, plantar fasciitis, fun times).

Internal ( intestinal) issues that have totally screwed with my well-being. Weight gain partially due to this issue....quality of life definitely affected. Being afraid to eat because it might make me feel ill/awful/dying is no fun, let me tell ya.

Last week, popped my shoulder out stretching in bed when my alarm went off. Yup, that's right: totally passive movement. Still hurts this week if I am not careful.

This morning, I slipped getting out of the shower. Left foot in the air, planted right foot in the tub slipped just enough that I totally wrenched my back. Tried to go to work, major fail. Came home, went to the Chiropractor (he did help me some). Off work tomorrow too. Sitting my my a$$ on an ice-pack, the pain is....not pleasant. Doesn't hurt as much as back labour, so, there's that to be thankful for.

Things on my body have hurt for nearly as long as I can remember. Blew my knees out when I was about 11 years old, and it feels like it's been downhill since then.

A few years back I decided enough was enough. My body hurts when I don't exercise, so I might as well push through and try to get stronger. And I was doing it!

Not now. This feels like it might be the straw that broke the camel's back ( bad joke totally intended).

I am missing a race I was really looking forward to this Sunday with my Fabulous Running Buddy.

This final (stupid) injury is affecting my job, my fitness, and my family.

I want to let loose a string of bad words that would make a sailor blush, but my Mom might read this.

I just want to feel less than crappy.

Little Things

It's about the little things in life, I mean, that's what "They" say.

So, I bought a little thing this week:

It's a Fitbit Flex. I feel it is a push that will get me moving (faster) in the right direction.It tracks steps taken, approximate calorie burn, and sleep cycles. I'm still figuring it out, as yesterday was my first day wearing it.

It's comfortable, like one of those rubber bracelets. I like that. I'd be afraid of losing the Fitbit One with it just being clipped to my clothing, and I'm notorious for washing things like that.

It's a fun bit of competition too, as my Fabulous Running Buddy has one as well. We can "compete" even when we're not together.

***Breaking News***
My Flex has a silent, vibrating alarm on it. I set it last night, and it just went off. Very cool....and a wee bit tickly. I'll have to try it on a work day, when I might still be in bed. (Of course, I'll set a back-up alarm on my phone).

I think that this will be a tool to get me moving more. In turn, I hope that moving more will help me find the joy I got from working out hard...and that that small amount of joy will lead to results, which, let's face it, is what I really want.

Taking of yourself can seem like such a daunting task, when you're looking at the big picture. Instead, taking it one little step at a time, only worrying about the choices you make today, it makes it manageable. Do what you can today, tomorrow isn't here yet.