Made it through a full shift at work today.
...thankful for that.
I miss running. I miss the time alone, the meditation and the challenge.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Lumpish Sunday Afternoon
It's been a week and a half since I initially injured myself, thanks to my fancy footwork in the bath tub.
In that time, I have been to the chiropractor twice ( an interesting, and not unpleasant experience), and the local hospital.
I have missed nearly 5 full days of work, and went back for 2 partial days this past Thursday and Friday.
My back is still not right, but it is much better than it was.
I am miserable however, and a little horrified.
Perhaps it's the medication, or my nearly sedentary days. Maybe it's all the food I've been eating to keep my stomach settled. More than likely, it's a combination of all the above factors. Whatever the cause, I have gained A LOT of weight. My bras are too small, my bigger clothes that I JUST BOUGHT are too tight. I have stayed away from the scale so far, because, the number won't make me feel any better about the evidence I see in the mirror.
And, while I understand that there are people suffering from much more horrible fates in the world, I am still so very unhappy about all of this.
I want to work out, get my body moving and stop feeling like this big lump I seem to be turning into. Isn't that the solution to gaining weight?
My head is screaming at me to restrict, stop eating....I know that will not help me heal.
Keeping that little voice in the back of my head quiet (you know, the one that is always there in the shadows, waiting to pull the rug from under your feet) will be hard. The words it speaks may be true, but the context is generally wrong.
So, I'll try to remain patient, and keep reminding myself that I am injured, and I have to care for myself.
*P.S.
I have stopped taking the heavy-duty meds as off today. The foggy-brain, shakes, and nearly narcoleptic spells were taking their toll on me. Extra-Strength ibuprofen seems to be good enough for a lazy day like today.
Here's a little light reading from Go Kaleo for you to enjoy.
In that time, I have been to the chiropractor twice ( an interesting, and not unpleasant experience), and the local hospital.
I have missed nearly 5 full days of work, and went back for 2 partial days this past Thursday and Friday.
My back is still not right, but it is much better than it was.
I am miserable however, and a little horrified.
Perhaps it's the medication, or my nearly sedentary days. Maybe it's all the food I've been eating to keep my stomach settled. More than likely, it's a combination of all the above factors. Whatever the cause, I have gained A LOT of weight. My bras are too small, my bigger clothes that I JUST BOUGHT are too tight. I have stayed away from the scale so far, because, the number won't make me feel any better about the evidence I see in the mirror.
And, while I understand that there are people suffering from much more horrible fates in the world, I am still so very unhappy about all of this.
I want to work out, get my body moving and stop feeling like this big lump I seem to be turning into. Isn't that the solution to gaining weight?
My head is screaming at me to restrict, stop eating....I know that will not help me heal.
Keeping that little voice in the back of my head quiet (you know, the one that is always there in the shadows, waiting to pull the rug from under your feet) will be hard. The words it speaks may be true, but the context is generally wrong.
So, I'll try to remain patient, and keep reminding myself that I am injured, and I have to care for myself.
*P.S.
I have stopped taking the heavy-duty meds as off today. The foggy-brain, shakes, and nearly narcoleptic spells were taking their toll on me. Extra-Strength ibuprofen seems to be good enough for a lazy day like today.
Here's a little light reading from Go Kaleo for you to enjoy.
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